they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
