you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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