..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
