Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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