don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize