can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
