Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm both gender and math confused
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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