just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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