So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
