Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
