grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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