Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
