my sisters under your porch take her home
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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