we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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