OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Lo siento on account of my penis...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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