One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
