I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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