At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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