In the future we'll all be gay
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
A bitchslap is in order.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
