if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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