I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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