idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
