I murdered the dance floor call the cops
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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