yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Randomize
