I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
