Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
