sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My boob is missing a layer of skin
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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