i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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