I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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