she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
