i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
