I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
