We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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