k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
