she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
