Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
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