quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
