she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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