Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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