Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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