Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just had sex on a roof
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize