fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
