Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
