it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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