I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
