you guys were way drunker than both of me
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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