I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
