I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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