I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
