We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
