I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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