That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
she peed on how many people?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
