we have pet lesbian snakes
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I need to calm my uterus...
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
