you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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