Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Randomize