You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize