How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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