I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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