she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
