Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
