I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
