U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
